


r/in laws

by gwendee



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, High School, In-Laws, M/M, My Boyfriend's Father Is Scary, Post-Canon, Ren panics for 1.5k words, that's it that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25591132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: Gakushuu kisses Ren in front of the entire school, and more importantly in front of his father.Ren may or may not have shrieked a little, depending on who you ask. If you ask Ren, he’ll say that he didn’t. If you asked anyone else, they’d say his pitch hit higher than Akabane’s stupid falsetto.
Relationships: Asano Gakushuu/Sakakibara Ren
Comments: 57
Kudos: 231





	r/in laws

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to give Ren a sister, Rei. I say this but she's mentioned literally only in the first chapter and never again.
> 
> I've written so many pairings and I can't believe I haven't written them.

**r/in laws**

Ren Sakakibara doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve this. He’s been a good citizen, he really has. He doesn’t have taxes to pay because he’s a minor, but he doesn’t litter and he donates his old clothes instead of tossing them away and he helped an old lady cross the street once. 

Okay, he was a bully in middle school. People change. He’s grown up, he’s learnt his mistakes. He’s atoned for his sins - well, kind of. But he’s trying! Why does he have to die so early?

“You’re being dramatic,” Rei says.

“I’m too young to die,” Ren says.

\--

“So,” his traitorous friend says, slapping him on the back as a greeting (and Ren’s been skittish these past few days, not that he’s been watching his shadows in paranoia or that he’s losing sleep over this, oh no) and it makes him shriek and jump and whirl around with his hand blocking his face.

Araki looks taken aback at the reaction. Which, whatever, he’s not dealing with the impending fear of his boyfriend’s crazy father killing him in his sleep.

“O-okay,” Araki says, both hands in the air. “You coming for the game later, right?”

The game? Oh! Gakushuu’s soccer game! Of course he’s coming, why wouldn’t he be-

-ah fuck.

“Nope,” Ren says, and pivots on his heel, and he hears an audible sigh from Araki before there’s a firm grasp on his shoulder and he’s spun around again.

“It’s been a week since Gakushuu told his father you two are dating,” Araki says. “You’re not dead. It’s fine. Are you really going to miss Gakushuu’s game because you’re afraid his father might be there?”

“But he always comes to Gakushuu’s games,” Ren says. He does not whine, he’s too classy to whine. “God, I wish he came to them less.”

Araki stares at him, a single eyebrow raised..

“Okay, I don’t,” Ren says. He’s glad that Gakuhou comes to Gakushuu’s games, they’re family bonding, he’s trying to show his support in a healthy way that does not involve encouraging total annihilation of his enemies blah blah. “But what if he’s just waiting to corner me at the game because he knows I’ll be there? There’s no way he’d pushed it aside. It’s more likely he’s biding his time because he knows very well feelings of paranoia and doubt will manifest and torment me in this entire week as he’s making me wait in suspense before he drops the bomb!”

Which, okay, Araki shrugs at that, because it’s entirely in character for the elder Asano to do so. 

“Listen,” Araki says, sounding a tad more unsure, “I’m sure it’d be fine.”

Famous last words.

\--

“Don’t look now, but your in-law is at your 8’o clock.” 

Ren shoots Akabane a sharp look, but Akabane doesn’t sound like he’s joking. He’s glaring at something past Ren’s ear and very slowly, he raises a hand to flip the bird.

Ah shit. He’s telling the truth.

“You’re causing a spectacle,” Ren hisses.

“You’re causing one,” Akabane scolds him. “Why are you holding a textbook over your head? Everyone knows it’s you, idiot.”

Ren glowers at him, but lowers his textbook. His arms were getting sore anyways.

Gakushuu is out on the field, stretching. His eyes scan the bleachers and they land on Ren, and he waves.

Ren waves back. Akabane snickers at him.

The referee blows the whistle, the game starts, and Araki (somewhere above the stands, in charge of rattling off gameplay in his obnoxious voice) sends him a shaky picture of the ex-Principal staring at the back of Ren’s head.

“Oh my god,” Ren says.

\--

“Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to be here,” Seo says. “Koyama’s practical is finishing up soon.”

Akabane snorts. “Some friend you are.”

“Please,” Seo says. He has snacks. “I’m not eager to be around when Ren’s pretty little head gets put on the chopping board by Asano senior after this game.”

“Oh my god,” Ren says. He’d been feeling eyes on the back of his head throughout this game. The death grip Akabane has on his arm prevents him from bolting. 

“You’re so skittish. It’d be fine,” Akabane says, and he steals a chip from Seo’s open bag.

“Easy for you to say,” Ren shoots back. “You have assassin training.”

“Yeah, like having martial arts expertise has stopped anyone from getting their ass handed to Asahoe anyways,” Akabane says. “Ooh, Shuuey made a pass. Do you see his legs? He’s been working out.”

If this is Akabane’s terrible attempt at distracting Ren… it’s working. “Stop ogling my boyfriend.”

“It’s not my fault you took the only cute guy in this entire damn school,” Akabane says. “Let me look at the menu.”

“Hey!” Ren is offended. “Are you saying I’m not cute?”

“Not in the slightest.”

\--

“How’s the game going?”

Koyama’s here. “Hey,” Ren says, distracted. He’s trying his best to imitate a bleacher seat so hopefully Gakuhou would mistake him for one and look away.

“It’s the haircut,” Seo says. “Your haircut is too distinctive.”

“And stupid,” Akabane says.

“Shut up. You wouldn’t know fashion if it bit you in the ass. You look like you had a bowl cut and just grew it out.”

“Touche,” Akabane says. Koyama’s arrived on the dot for halftime, so after a huddle at the side of the field, Gakushuu jogs up to the stands.

“Hey baby,” Akabane says, voice pitched to a ridiculous falsetto. “You looked real cute on the field today.”

Gakushuu rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you look real adorable today too. Why haven’t you called Jin back? He’s been asking about you.” 

Akabane blushes. “Um.”

“Right,” Gakushuu says. “Hey babe.” And then he kisses Ren in front of the entire school, and more importantly in front of his father.

Ren may or may not have shrieked a little, depending on who you ask. If you ask Ren, he’ll say that he didn’t. If you asked anyone else, they’d say his pitch hit higher than Akabane’s stupid falsetto.

His phone buzzes. It’s Araki, and another top-down picture of Gakuhou. Ren didn’t know it was possible to project a menacing aura through a photograph where the subject wasn’t even facing the camera, but oh boy, it was possible.

Gakushuu rolls his eyes. “See you later.”

“Wait, don’t leave me alone!”

\--

“So maybe I, the most badass person in the world, can’t win in a one-on-one fight with Asahoe.” Akabane is saying. “Maybe even a trained professional assassin wouldn’t win in a one-on-one fight against Asahoe. Maybe-”

“Thank you, Akabane, for instilling confidence in my spirit,” Ren says.

“But,” Akabane says, wagging a finger in Ren’s face. “You have something no one else has.”

Ren stares warily at him. “What?”

“You know, other than  _ terrible  _ fashion sense, bad luck in the in laws department, too many hand creams-”

“You have Gakushuu on your side,” Koyama interjects.

Akabane snaps his fingers, and finger guns Ren.

“We all agree,” Seo says, “that he’s a crazy overachiever with ridiculous standards and a skewed sense of morality and despite all the lengths he’s willing to go through and how he can twist even the law to get what he wants-”,

“Okay, seriously, all of you need to work on your pep talks.”

“-But the one person that looks at all of that and sleeps soundly in their house and can walk up to them and say fuck you is?-”

And then cheers erupt and people are jumping out of their seats. Gakushuu’s scored a goal.

Dammit. Ren missed it.

He leaps to his feet. “GAKUSHUU, YOU’RE AWESOME!”

Gakushuu beams at him. Aww.

His phone vibrates again. Seo and Koyama and Akabane snicker at it. Ren decides not to check it, from his own sanity.

(He does look at the tinny notification though and yes, it is, in fact, from Araki.)

\--

“He-ey,” Gakushuu says, fresh out of the shower in the locker rooms. Ren takes the towel around his neck and pulls it over Gakushuu’s hair again. 

“You looked great out there.”

“Don’t lie,” Gakushuu snorts. “Like you weren’t too busy panicking over my father to focus on me or the game.”

“Um.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Gakushuu says, and pecks him on the lips. “It will be fine.”

“Yeah,” Ren says, relaxing in Gakushuu’s embrace. “As long as you’re here, I think I’d be able to face him a million times.”

Gakushuu rests his head on Ren’s shoulder. “Glad you think so,” he hums.

Ren sighs. He peeks an eye open to see Gakushuu’s snickering teammates, who jeer at them with winks and wolf whistles. Gakushuu rolls his eyes and Ren lets his anxiety melt away.

Akabane and the Virtuosos are right. Gakuhou’s biggest weakness has always been his son, anyways. And besides, Ren’s in this for the long haul. He’s not running away just because his boyfriend’s father is scary. 

“Because he really wants to meet you  _ in an official capacity  _ and I’m sick of delaying it anymore because both of you are insufferable with all his grumbling and your panicking.”

“Wait-”

Gakushuu has the most unbreakable grip in human history on his wrist. “Come on,” he cajoles, as he manhandles Ren out of the hallway and into the light. “I’m here with you!”

“Wait, no! I’m not ready to die!”

**Author's Note:**

> rip Ren


End file.
